Despair really was something she did understand way too damn well.
Between Grams dying, leaving home, coming back, losing Cole twice and losing Prue, despair had indeed become a well-recognized companion. It was a companion that she didn't like the familiarity of, but there it was.
Now, she was wondering if she would have to get used to even greater despair.
The Underworld was hunting Cole and he was shimmering through dimensions in an effort not to lead them back to her. Leo told her that he had to still be alive, or else Phoebe would already know it.
"You're soulmates. You're connected. You'd be the first to know if anything like that happened."
She didn't know if she believed that completely. She would agree with Leo that she and Cole were connected on a deep level, but she wasn't sure she agreed with him that she would know if anything happened to him.
Now, she sat down on the bed, clutching his pillow tightly.
"Cole... where are you. Please be okay."
Despair was something that she was getting damned tired of... and she was getting scared.
Muse: Phoebe Halliwell-Turner
"Right on time...will you stay
Through the pouring rain?
Right on time...through the night,
Your laughter is my light... " -- Carbon Leaf
She would never forget the look on his face when she was shot in front of them. He had been standing in front of her and her sisters and she was trying to tell him that they couldn't be together. She had started to say it when she felt the bullet tear through her due to the connection she had somehow formed with Bo in the ghost town. As she collapsed and Piper caught her, she could see the panic and the love swimming in his eyes. They got her to the couch and Cole stood firm. He wasn't leaving her. He was the one who came up with the idea to shimmer to the dimension Bo was in and bring him back so Leo could heal him -- and thus save her.
He was determined to do anything he had to do in order to save her. He had decided to himself that he would never use his demonic powers again, and she could see in his eyes that he had planned on keeping that promise if it mean they would have a chance. In the end, it was only his demonic powers that had the chance to help them save her and Bo.
He was willing to give up so much for them to be able to have a chance -- and he was willing to team up with Prue to save her. She told her father while all of the others were gone that she could feel herself dying. And she could. She didn't know if Cole and Prue would be able to get to Bo in time, and she could honestly feel herself dying as she lay there on the couch.
But it wasn't just her body dying in that moment.
Her soul was dying.
She needed Cole and just as she was finally realizing how strong that need was. She loved him, wanted him, needed him.
And she almost died before she could tell him how much he meant to her.
Right on time though, he was there. They got the townspeople to stand up to save Bo, and that, in turn, saved her.
He was there and she wanted him to always be there with her.
Muse: Phoebe Halliwell